Get out from behind the mask

“There’s nothing that gives more assurance than a mask.” (Colette) from the Jack’s Winning Words Blog, of course. We think about masks at Halloween, but many people wear a “mask” of sorts all the time, when they hide their true emotions behind a stoic face or, even worse, if they hide malice or anger behind the mask of a smile.

We have sayings like “mask your feelings” in our vernacular and phrases like “don’t let them see you sweat” in business and sports. It is a part of our culture to be somewhat circumspect and to “keep a stiff upper lip” in times of trouble or pain. It is this tendency to hold things in and not share your emotions that likely leads to depression or worse. By being willing to open up, to share your feelings and needs and to ask for or accept help from others in dealing with highly emotional events, you will get the support that is needed by all humans. We are not islands. We are very social animals who need the interaction and support of those around us to deal with life’s curveballs.

There is hope and help to be found in one’s religious beliefs for sure; and sometimes self reflection and solitude are needed to internalize what is happening around us; however, at the end of the day, having someone that you can talk to is the best thing for getting through tough situations. Many times the two become one and the same and you can share your problems or needs with your pastor/preacher/priest/rabbi or imam.

I know that this advice is toughest for men, since we are the ones who are supposed to be keeping the stoic, stiff upper lip through everything; however, we are also the ones most in need of finding a way to let some of our bottled up emotions, fears, concerns and other pent-up feelings out. Hopefully you have an understanding and loving wife that you can talk things through with or maybe a best buddy that you can share things with; otherwise seek out that religious leader and get it off your chest. There is nothing more cathartic than being able to verbalize what is eating away at you with someone else.

So, leave the masks to Halloween or masked charity balls and share your feelings more openly with those around you. You’d be surprised how many people are there to help and support you, if only they knew that you needed their help. Sometimes all it takes is a good cry with a friend to get it all out, so that you can deal with it. At least that will get you started on the road to dealing with whatever it is that is troubling you.