Must we be a zero-sum society?

This is somewhat of a continuation of the thought process from my last post about not playing the sucker in the derivatives game that many large, sophisticated financial are playing. That is just one example of the zero-sum society that we've become; where, in order for there to be a winner, there must also be a loser, so that the sum is zero +1 and -1.

There are all too many easy examples that could be sited, mostly around our sports and leisure act ivies where things are designed so that somebody wins and thus somebody else loses - the sum is neatly kept at zero. There are very few examples to site for non-zero-sum games, since all games seem to be designed to identify a winner in the end (thus relegating one or more others in the game to the role of losers).

People aren't born as zero-sum players. That is a behavior that is taught to children at a very early age. Young children don't pick it up right away and thus may be content with games that no one really wins or losses but everyone has fun playing. It doesn't take long; however, for parents to change the mindset of the young by their behaviour - egging their little ones on to beat Tommy or do better than Amy. They are instilling the winner/loser relationship that is needed to be a zero-sum player later in life. I'm sure that parents see it something positive and good preparation for life, but it is a shame that the youthful innocence that might otherwise allow the child to feel good just about the chance to play with other children is stripped away and the need to beat someone else at whatever you're doing is substituted. The children never even realize that they've been robbed of that innocence that comes from not worrying about competing. So we are lead from blissful ignorance into a life of ignorant competition - a zero-sum existence. How sad.

Schools tried to break the zero-sum equation by shifting from a grading-based system that forced some to be winners (at the top of the curve) and some to be losers (at the other end). The movement that said you're all winners just for trying made lots of kids feel better for a short while, until their parents interceded and demanded a return to the zero-sum game. You just can't get into the best colleges by feeling good about yourself.

The work environment has always been a zero-sum game. When Apple wins in the market someone else (usually lots of others) lose. When China wins in manufacturing, lots and lots of U.S. factory workers lose. Every sales situation has a winner and one or more losers. Every promotion means that others were passed over. Every new product that is developed usually puts some older product out to pasture. It's all zero-sum.

Religion, to the extent that the teachings of most religions are embraced is one source of escape fro the zero-sum game. You don't have to be better than anyone else to embrace religion; however, the zero-sum mentality has crept back to the forefront in the lives of many people who righteously proclaim their faith. These people tend to proclaim that those who do not believe exactly as they do are losers in the game of religion. And, of course, in the larger religious picture we have many different religions all claiming that whatever deity they embrace is the one and only true deity and thus all others are losers because they don't believe in the one true deity.

Women seem to be better at figuring out ways to do things together without the need to boil it down to a zero-sum game. Men will almost always figure out some way to turn almost anything into a competition, with a winner to be determined somehow. Women on the other hand can form groups, tackle problems and/or be nurturing and supportive of each other, without the need for there to be a winner and a bunch of losers. That is a wonderful trait that we men should try hard to figure out (maybe we could beat the women at it. Oops!)

Wow, this zero-sum thing is bigger than I thought. I guess we're not just a zero-sum society, we're a zero-sum people. I better go off and find someone that I can beat at something, so I can good about myself. Maybe there's another way to look at things that's not zero-sum - I think it's called win-win. What a concept!