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Sunday, August 19, 2007

The sound of silence


Whenever we have guests; whether it be our kids, with their kids, or a house guess that may have been with us for a while, my wife and I almost always notice the sound of the silence when they've left. We have a historic home that is very, very quiet when just the two of us are there. even if one is watching TV or playing music on one floor, the other won't even hear it on the other floor. Old homes are that way, mainly due to the thick plaster walls. We don't even hear the traffic outside, when the windows are closed, even though we live on a fairly busy street.

So, today I'm pondering the sound and power of silence. In our modern world we seldom experience silence anymore. Even in my quiet home, if I'm in my home office I can usually hear the sounds being generated by 2-3 fans and motors - the bi-products of having my computer and laser printer turned on. On warm summer days, the window air conditioner will be going, with its fan and compressor noises. I've even gotten to the point where I sleep with a fan on just for the soothing noise. At night, the sound of silence is distracting. I've become addicted to sound. I know several other people who have reported the same thing to me about their need for a constant soothing sound at night. Nothing does it like a fan. I've tried the sound machines and the constant sound of waves breaking on the shore just causes other problems at night.

In real estate, we too often also don't like the sound of silence, so we fill it with our own voices. That is a mistake. In fact, we should welcome and use the sound of silence. Silence when used with customers means that we've stopped talking and started listening, and that's a good thing. Silence when used in negotiations can be the most powerful tool that you have. State your point or argument and then shut up. Wait for the other side to react and to break the silence with some counter-suggestion or question. It is a powerful position to be in. So, welcome and embrace the sound of silence. We get much too little of it and we waste it all too frequently. Silence can be an ally in negotiations and a calming respite from the hectic, noisy pace of everyday life. If you find yourself in a quiet place, sit and listen for a while. It may be more powerful than an energy drink to refresh you and get you going again.

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